by Joanne Wadsworth | Dec 10, 2012 | Author Blog
Random Picture Alert! I simply couldn’t find any image on Deep POV. Hope you enjoy this one.
Before I jump into covering the header’s topic, stay tuned, for at the end of this post, I’ll be announcing the winner of last week’s critique offer. I also want to say a huge thank you to everyone who commented and “liked” last week’s post. I was blown away by your kind wishes and congratulations–they truly meant the world to me. 🙂
Okay, now to this week’s post– For Those Writers After DEEP POV — Tips For You.
As writers we all know which POV we like to write in. Often our POV also depends on our story’s genre or how it needs to be told. I love writing in 1st Person as much as I love writing in 3rd Person, but, what about DEEP POV? Where does DEEP POV fit into a writer’s world? And for some of you, you may even be asking what the heck is DEEP POV?
Ah-huh, let me catch you up on this, because writing in DEEP isn’t anything new, but so often today, publishers are asking us to take our POV, whether 1st or 3rd, and Deepen it. If you want to know more about DEEP POV because you’d like to try it, then here are loads of tips to help get you there.
We’ll begin with the five senses of:
- Sight
- Sound
- Smell
- Taste
- Touch
When going DEEP:
- The author must describe all scenes from what the character can perceive with their own senses.
- There is no remoteness, and even the character’s internal thoughts and feelings form part of the writing.
- Certain distancing words are removed. Examples of these are words like:
- Watched
- Noticed
- Heard
- Felt
- Saw
- Wondered
- Decided
- Knew
- Thought, etc.
You’ll need to do a search and find these if you want to go DEEP, ensuring you rewrite the sentences to take them out. I’ll give you an example, from the heroine’s POV, and I’ll remove the underlined distancing words in the second bulleted point.
- She felt her heart beat faster as she watched him lift the gun. He won’t kill her, she thought.
- Her heart raced as he lifted the gun. He wouldn’t kill her. (In DEEP)
Did you like that Deeper sentence?
- Now let’s cover emotion, for in DEEP we take out words like:
- Anger
- Sad
- Fear
- Happy
- Shock
- Bothered, etc
There are a ton of these. Instead we use body language (wherever we can) to convey emotion–and this is truly important. I’ll give you an example, from the heroine’s POV, and I’ll remove the underlined words of emotion in the second bulleted point.
- Anger lanced through her. She was not happy to have her choices taken away.
- She raised her chin and stared him down. He would not take her choices away. (IN DEEP)
As you can see, these small changes Deepen the POV, and prevent the reader from being pulled out of the head of the person whose POV they’re in.
- And lastly, don’t forget that characters rarely refer to themselves by name. When you go DEEP, ask yourself would the character use her name, over and over? If not use her/she, but only if the dialogue is strong and the reader can see who speaks.
–0o0–
Okay, it’s time to get down to the serious business of the offer I made last week. For those who left a comment asking for a critique, they had their name put into a hat. What could they win? Yours truly will be their second set of eyes to go over the first four pages (or 1500 words thereabouts) of their novel. That’s the first four pages. Not four pages from the middle of the book, but the first four pages. Right, so for this fabulous critique, the winner is:
*** Kozo ***
Hey, congratulations, Kozo. Please email me the first four pages of your novel as a word document attachment so I can insert “review bubbles” for personalized editing advice. My email address is located under the “Contact tab” on my website, or of course it’s joannewadsworth007@gmail.com
I’ll be making this offer again in the near future as I had a great response–and I’m all for authors supporting authors. You guys rock with the way you support me on my website. I’m feeling the love all the way to where I am Down Under.
Have a wonderful week. Catch ya all later.
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PROTECTOR–BUY THE BOOK: Amazon Kindle / B&N Nook / iTunes / Lyrical Press / Kobo.
by Joanne Wadsworth | Dec 5, 2012 | Author Blog
Yay! This would be me right now, if I were a cat! 🙂
Hey, everyone,
I’m doing a huge happy dance down here in New Zealand.
My second baby book titled “Warrior,” in my young adult/fantasy/romance series got a contract. Woo-hoo. Huge thanks go to Renee Rocco and her fabulous team at Lyrical Press NY for saying “yes.” I’m beyond excited. In fact if there weren’t a ceiling over my head, I would have floated away by now. Ah-huh, yes I would have.
Wow, it’s the coolest feeling to know my characters will have their story told, and thank you to all of you who twiddled your fingers with me as I waited to hear back. You guys rock.
In the meantime, to continue the celebrations I have a wonderful critiquing offer for you all. I said I’d bring it back–and I have. (Offer is below.)
I’ve also been super busy learning how to create a book trailer, so here’s what I’ve pulled together for your viewing pleasure. This book trailer is for “Protector” which releases on 7th January 2013. Oh boy, literally just one month away. What a wicked lead up to Christmas I’m having. Just click here to view the trailer on youtube –> Protector’s trailer.
So, to my offer–everyone who leaves a comment asking “for a critique” will have their name put into a hat. What do you win? Yours truly shall be your second set of eyes to go over the first four pages (or 1500 words thereabouts) of your novel. That’s the first four pages. Not four pages from the middle of the book, but the first four pages. Okay, so if you’ve been catching my blogs, you’ll know my skills are in the editing department–which means it will be a fabulous critique. You’ll love it.
I’ll pick a winner and post the name next week on my blog, so keep your eye out for who that is. (Particularly the winner, because you’ll need to get in contact with me via email.)
Now, I’m off to finish my third manuscript, a romantic suspense which I’m aiming to have ready for submission in the next week or two. Yep, why is it a writer’s work is never done?
Okay, catch ya all later.
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PROTECTOR–BUY THE BOOK: Amazon Kindle / B&N Nook / iTunes / Lyrical Press / Kobo.
by Joanne Wadsworth | Dec 3, 2012 | Author Blog
I hope you’ll all join me in welcoming new Lyrical Press author, Renita Pizzitola, to my blog. She’s the author of Gossamer, a young adult paranormal romance which released on October 8th. I’m reading her debut novel and totally loving her fresh writer’s voice. I asked Renita if she would share the following post on my blog. It’s all about writing YA for an adult audience, because the one thing authors of the YA genre are learning is that YA is read by those of all ages.
By Renita Pizzitola.
Writing YA for an Adult Audience.
With the ever growing population of adult YA readers, how do writers appeal to both the young adult and adult readers? For the most part, I’d say don’t change a thing. Isn’t that the appeal behind YA?
Teen’s view their world from a unique perspective and, often, I think it’s this sense of nostalgia that hooks adult readers. After all, we (adults) will always have one thing in common with YA books…surviving the teen years. And though at the time, life may have seemed doomed by the smallest inconvenience, as adults, we can now look back on those memories fondly. Not to mention, reliving youth vicariously through a fictional hero or heroine (that’s probably a whole lot cooler than you were at that age…or any teen is for that matter) is the kind of escape from reality readers look for.
But, while these aspects can be fun, sweet, even comical at times, I think some readers want more from YA. Specifically, more romance…and not just hand holding. And it’s not only the adult readers looking for this change. Older teens and twenty-somethings crave their own niche of books. They may feel too old for some YA but not ready to move into the adult romance genre and stories about issues that aren’t really relevant to them yet such as marriage, kids or jobs. They need transitional books about life after high school but before the responsibilities of true adulthood. A good middle ground is upper YA (sometimes referred to as Mature YA or New Adult). This genre combines the elements readers love—carefree lives, first love, self-discovery—with more adult content. Eighteen-and-up characters are, typically, considered old enough to make their own decisions. Thus allowing writers more freedom to push the limits on relationships, life events, actions and consequences. And for me, I feel writing upper YA combines the perfect amount of adult appeal with the sweet side of youth and first love. It’s a story I love to tell and hopefully something both teens and adults alike will love to read.
I couldn’t agree more, Renita. I love reading YA for all the things you’ve mentioned and the fast pace of the books. Hey everyone, following is Renita’s new release for you to take a look at. Gosh, I love Gossamer’s cover.
Shouldn’t all faerytales end with happily-ever-after?
Kyla Ashbury is nearing her eighteenth birthday when a mysterious boy appears at school. Her instant attraction to him inexplicably awakens something inside her and she discovers her true identity.
Now, armed with the knowledge of her past, she is forced to leave behind the life she has always known for a new one filled with temptation, faery charm and magic, and a future she wasn’t prepared for.
Kyla is left with a difficult decision…but no matter which path she chooses, someone will get hurt.
A Lyrical Press Young Adult Paranormal Romance
Joanne– Where can readers find you, and your book, Renita?
Renita– You can find me here: website/twitter/facebook/blog/goodreads
You can purchase Gossamer here: Amazon/Barnes and Noble/iBooks/Lyrical Press
Excerpt:
I took several careful steps forward even as my body was reluctant to move. Every instinct told me to turn around, but I had to know what summoned me. I felt a bit unsettled but couldn’t resist.
I approached a large tree, but instead of my usual oak it was an ash. I felt pretty confident this was where the call came from, so I placed my hand on the tree and slowly peeked around it.
I found a small clearing. The air was still thick, and even though I knew it was daytime, the sun did not shine through the canopy overhead. Next to my large oak tree on the other side of the clearing stood a woman with her back toward me. Had she been on the other side of the oak tree in my last dream?
She had extremely long, blond hair, almost silvery. The pale strands lay like silken threads down her back in stark contrast to her black attire. She wore a dress with sleeves that puffed at the shoulder then ran tight down to her wrists. The gown tucked in at the waist and billowed out into a full skirt which touched the forest floor. The thick, heavy fabric seemed as if it would weigh down her slender silhouette. Her petite frame looked delicate, and I could tell she was young. She moved her head a little to the side, her hair forming a shimmering veil obscuring any real view of her face. She sensed my arrival and spoke. Her soft, delicate voice drew me in. I took another step forward to hear her better.
Her sweet voice spoke again, “They have found you. They have found you, Kyla.”
How did she know my name? And what did she mean they found me? Did she mean Grant and Conor? They had been looking for me, or maybe she meant Matt. He had found me for The Rite. Either way this wasn’t new information. Yet, I suspected I needed to know something more. Her soothing voice beckoned, and I stepped closer and closer.
Somewhere behind me, I heard a shout. It was a woman’s voice but this one was firm. “Kyla, stop!” I froze at the command. “Turn around!” The voice demanded.
The lady by the tree yanked her head up at a speed no human could match. With her neck craned, she turned her head side to side with quick, sharp, birdlike movements as if trying to place where the other voice had come from.
An uneasy feeling grew within me. Something wasn’t right. I took a careful step backward and a twig snapped beneath my weight. She whipped her head around at the sound. Her white, blonde hair fanned out around her with the rapid motion, finally settling down and exposing her face.
I screamed.
Author Bio:
Renita Pizzitola writes Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy. An avid reader herself, she has always enjoyed stories with witty humor, romance, and fascinating characters. Renita lives in Texas with her husband and two children. When not writing, she enjoys reading everything she can get her hands on, drinking copious amounts of coffee, and playing referee to her two typically adorable children.
Joanne– Thanks for stopping by, Renita. It’s been fabulous.
Renita– Thank you so much for having me, Joanne!
by Joanne Wadsworth | Nov 30, 2012 | Author Blog
Aww, Cadence’s cute kitty.
Hey, everyone, please join me in welcoming Cadence Blue to my blog. Cadence is an animal lover and an aspiring indie author. Cadence and I first met on Goodreads at the beginning of this year, and we’ve been fabulous friends ever since. Check out her thoughtful tips below for pet safety during the Christmas holidays. Wonderful.
By: Cadence Blue
I want to offer my sincere thanks to Joanne for giving me this space on her blog to share a non-writing topic this week 🙂
With the holidays approaching I thought it was time for us to start thinking about pet safety.
Christmas time with its sparkly, shiny, glittery decorations and Christmas plants and trees present a wonderland for kitties and doggies. It is up to us as responsible pet parents to make sure that this wonderland doesn’t end up endangering our pets and causing enormous vet bills. No one wants a costly emergency during the most wonderful time of the year.
So let’s go over some things we need to pay attention to:
Christmas foliage:
Lilies are beautiful but can cause kidney failure in cats if they eat them. They are not toxic in dogs. Poinsettias are not poisonous and deadly to pets as urban legends claim, but they, along with holly and mistletoe will all cause stomach upset in pets. Silk plants are a good alternative if you want to avoid this problem or, keeping real plants out of reach of curious furries.
The Christmas tree is the main foliage most everyone will have in their house. All real trees will cause stomach upset and can be toxic if enough is ingested. Trees with long, thick needles can cause injury to the digestive tract of a pet that eats them and doesn’t chew them well. The needles aren’t digestible and can puncture the stomach as well as nearby organs. I have no personal experience with this issue but it has happened (according to my vet as well as my online research), so it’s important to be watchful of pets when they are around the tree. If your pet appears to be in distress with vomiting, drooling and/or pain, seek medical attention right away.
Where real trees are concerned the absolute most dangerous thing is the water they sit in. Many tree lots spray the trees with insecticides and fire retardants, which, along with the natural sap of the tree, get into the water—all of which are poisonous to pets. Also, it may have been recommended to add aspirin to the water. There is debate over whether this helps or hurts the tree. The National Christmas Tree Association (yes, there really is one!) says plain tap water is best and for cat owners it is the best option because aspirin is DEADLY to cats. (Aspirin is safe for dogs in small quantities. Ask your vet).
It is very important to cover the water your real tree is sitting in.
Cat owners may want to consider anchoring their tree so it doesn’t fall over if kitty goes on a climbing expedition.
Artificial trees can cause stomach upset and blockages because the fibers they are made with are not digestible.
Keep pets away from the tree if possible. I realize it isn’t always possible. We live in a small apartment. In cases like that you can buy pet repellents and spray the area around the tree. I don’t have a lot of faith in those but if they’ve worked for you then it is a good option. Another option is Bitter Apple spray. It’s non-toxic to cats and dogs, non-sticky and extremely bitter. Spray it on the tree where your pets can reach, especially the very bottom branches. Dogs and cats despise bitter flavors. We had mixed results with our cats and had to re-apply it a couple times when we noticed them munching on the tree. I still feel it is a good option as a deterrent.
Christmas decorations:
These pose another health hazard to pets who like to bat at them and eat them. Most experienced cat owners know that THE TOP NO-NO DECORATION is tinsel. Those shiny, dangling strings hanging from the tree branches are just too irresistible to kitties. They pull them off and eat them and it ends up tangling in the digestive tract, knotting up the intestines. Your cat (or dog) will die without veterinary intervention. That intervention involves stomach surgery to remove the tinsel. Some owners, unable to afford the cost, have to euthanize their pet—not a very merry Christmas for anyone.
Any stringy decorations, or even cat toys like fishing rods, pose the same hazard. My cats much prefer the cord on their fishing rods to the actual toy at the end. It is for that reason I never leave my cats unsupervised with those kinds of toys. Garland is another one you need to watch out for, though it can be sprayed down with Bitter Apple along with other tree ornaments to keep pets away. It is important to supervise pets around the tree at all times and place plain decorations at the bottom, like ornaments with no thing-a-mabobbers hanging off them. Plain plastic balls are best for those pet-reachable low branches. If you use glass ornaments watch out for any that fall and break so there aren’t any cut paws or mouths. Glass in the digestive tract is also a hazard.
We plan to buy some thick cardboard to block off the living room for times when we are away or when we are sleeping. More expensive room dividers can be found on Ebay if you want something decorative like an Oriental screen.
Wrapping supplies:
Here you mainly need to watch out for the ribbons because they’ll tangle in the pet’s stomach like the things I mentioned earlier. Even my older cats like to gnaw on ribbons when the gifts are out under the tree. For this reason I put the presents out last minute and keep a big bag on hand to immediately discard wrappings when a gift has been opened.
If you see your pet eating wrapping paper you should discourage it, especially if the paper is thick or if it is foil. Dogs sometimes eat paper and it can block their intestinal tract. Tissue paper on the other hand makes a marvelous toy that they can shred and jump about in safely. My cats will eat little bits of it and I haven’t had any problems, but do watch out for puppies and dogs having a feast of it. I sometimes offer a few sheets of tissue to divert my pets’ attention from items I don’t want them to play with.
My cats also enjoy those bows you stick on the top of presents. They bat them around and carry them in their mouths. I will replace them with new bows if the old ones come unraveled. Remember: those bows are just long pieces of ribbon so stay alert if you let your cats play with them. In twenty years I’ve had no problems with my cats playing with bows but every cat and dog is different in their habits. Always keep an eye on them.
Christmas treats:
My cats like table scraps and they’ll get some. They like rich holiday food the same as we do, but if you share, do so sparingly to avoid upset tummies.
Cookies and candy:
This is more for dogs, but there are cats out there who like sweets too: chocolate is toxic to both cats and dogs unless it is white chocolate. I’ve seen dog treats that are dipped in white chocolate. Don’t freak out if your cat or dog wants to lick a little chocolate from your fingertips or a bowl but don’t feed it in large quantities or habitually. (We used to have a cat that enjoyed milk chocolate – just use common sense when sharing).
Last, keep the telephone numbers of local vets in a place where you can find them, ESPECIALLY an emergency clinic that is open during off-hours. If you’re having an emergency you don’t want to have to search for important telephone numbers. Better yet, program them into your cell phone. If you think your pet has swallowed something don’t wait! Seek help.
I am definitely not trying to scare people off decorating their homes. Just be aware, know your pet and his/her habits and what dangerous things he is attracted to and take precautions accordingly. A little common sense and a watchful eye go a long way!
For even more tips please visit the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) and their article on holiday safety, good no matter what country you live in 🙂
Direct link: http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/pet-care-tips/holiday-safety-tips.aspx
I hope you found this information helpful!
Now that you are armed with information, go forth and decorate, and have a safe and happy holiday with your pets!
If you have some safety tips to share, please feel free! There is no such thing as too much information on this topic.
Hey, thank you, Cadence. I have a new puppy, so I’ll definitely be keeping your advice in mind as I decorate for Christmas this week. Here’s a picture of my one-year-old little bundle of cuteness looking a little dazed. Yes, that’s because my ten-year-old son took this photo from very close-up. As you can see. 🙂
CADENCE’S BIO:
Cadence Blue has been entertaining family and friends with her writing for many years. Circumstances beyond her control caused her to step back from the art form for a time and she is just now making a tentative comeback as an aspiring indie author. When not writing she enjoys doing graphic design and video editing.
Cadence is married and is both mother and play companion to her four black cats, who demand much of her time and energy.
Links to connect with Cadence:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cadenceblue
Cadence Blue’s Fan Videos: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cadence-Blues-Fan-Videos/173496862665338
Email Cadence: SweetCadenceBlue@aol.com
by Joanne Wadsworth | Nov 26, 2012 | Author Blog
Let me introduce you to New Zealand’s Ninety Mile Beach. Here’s a picture of one of the most isolated and gorgeous beaches in the world, and being a Kiwi, I just had to bring it to you. The top map is for you to get a grasp of where it is within the country, sitting at the topmost peninsula of the North Island. The second map is of the beach itself and the whole 90 miles runs in a complete, straight line.
Yeah, wow! I drool just looking at all this untouched beauty, and I mean untouched. Because would you believe Ninety Mile Beach is an area with next to no residents? Seriously, I’m not kidding you. There is like a lighthouse overseer at the cape Ninety Mile Beach runs to, and apart from that, perhaps three houses along this entire stretch of land.
Now, to let you in on a little secret–Ninety Mile Beach isn’t in fact 90 miles long. No. It’s much shorter–very tricky. Let me tell you how the name Ninety Mile Beach came about. Around 1840-1860 (no one is actually quite sure on the exact date), missionaries traveled on horseback along this beach to estimate the distance. Back in the day, the average horse could travel 30 miles before needing to rest. (A fact I found most interesting since I’m not a horse-person.) Now, the clever missionaries took three days to travel the beach, thereby giving Ninety Mile Beach its fabulously incorrect name. Very dishonest of them, but they’re forgiven. So, to explain how they made this terrible error—it was because they walked their horses on sand, the pace of their travel slowing radically.
Ah-huh, these missionaries sadly covered only 18.4 miles per day, meaning, yes, you got it, Ninety Mile Beach is in fact 55 miles long. But hey, as is the Kiwi way, I’m giving them a hearty clap for at least trying.
I hope you enjoyed this week’s post and feel a touch more enlightened on some amazing New Zealand history. If you’ve noticed I’ve spruced up my website and it’s undergone a change. I’d like to point out that where I update my current weekly news under “News This Week”–it is in fact still there, although I’ve moved it to a tab-button position which means it’s not immediately visible. So, if you wish to see what I’m up to at a glance, just click on the “News This Week” tab to check it out. Which you should! 🙂 Just saying! 🙂
Okay, enough from me–who’s feeling in a cheeky kind of mood. Have yourselves a wonderful day, and I’ll catch you all next week.
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PROTECTOR–BUY THE BOOK: Amazon Kindle / B&N Nook / iTunes / Lyrical Press / Kobo.