Describing Places — Show, Don’t Tell.

I love when I’m reading and a new location comes into play within a scene. The visual description the author brings to the reader is so important. And as writers we have ensure we cover all the elements we need for the reader to have the same image in their mind that we do in ours.

I ask myself the following questions each time I have to describe a new location–from a simple passageway, to a bedroom, to a sweeping panorama.

  • What are 2 to 4 key components of this place? These are the items which stand out with clear emphasis. Use more if you need them.
  • What are 1 to 3 small features that will take this description and make it something special? Examples of this are like the stitching in bedcovers, the fabrics used on furniture, or a cobweb in the corner of a room. Find something unique that will push your description in the direction you want it to go.
  • Is this place important? What’s its history? (Sometimes, only the author needs to know this question, but there are times when this is shared with the reader during the description because it’s important to the storyline.)
  • Remember the five senses. Sight, smell, taste, feel and speak.
  • Make sure you show your reader what you’re seeing. This is so important.

Now, not all the answers will be used, but most of them will within the scene. But most importantly, these detailed descriptions I’m speaking of come when you show your location for the first time. When you bring this same location back in another scene, there will be less description needed because you have already drawn it. So, let’s jump to it and see some examples, because I find it’s so important to add a showing to my posts.

Example one: To set this scene, the heroine has never been to this place before. She’s walking down a passageway and into a bedroom that’s far more than what she’s used to seeing.

The passageway was wide, yet dimly lit with wall sconces holding candlelike bulbs. She didn’t slow since all the doors were closed, but at the fifth which she’d been told was hers, she halted. The ornate brass knob was curved, and she pushed it open.

She stood in the doorway, doing a double take. Wow. The room was three times the size of what she had back home. And from the size of that bed–she would get lost in it.

Heading across the polished wooden flooring, she gripped one of the four carved hardwood posts that rose high above the bed to support a canopy of sheer lace netting. Pushing one corner of the lace aside, she ran her fingers over the violet silk covers. So pretty, with detailed stitching in mauve and gold thread.

Now onto example two: To set this scene, the heroine is standing on a rocky cliff face before a large palace.

She stood on the precipice and stared down its craggy side. The ocean was eerily beautiful, almost beyond magnificent in its violent splendor.

Turning on her heel, she saw the palace. Wind whipped her hair about as she gazed up. So unreal. It was four floors in height and constructed of large blocks of gray-black stone. From each of the many corners, a slender tower rose to double the height of the palace, at least a dozen towers visible from her position. This residence was a fortress, although a stunning one with light shining from behind stained glass from the largest of the windows.

I hope you get my point–you want to bring your reader into the location you’ve set. Have them standing there, touching, feeling and seeing what you do.

I hope you enjoyed this “describing places” blog post, and that it aided you in some way. If you haven’t joined me for your weekly dose of bite-sized writing tidbits and you’d like to, then simply check out the right-hand side panel, and enter your email address to “follow the blog.” If you want, also click “like” on my FB author page to the right. I love all the support.

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Writing Realistic, Fight Scenes.

I love a dramatic, action-packed scene. As a reader, there’s that build-up that comes in the pages beforehand. My adrenaline rushes and I’m yearning to see the fight between the characters unfold. I relish it, soaking it in until I’m fully involved.

So, how do we as writers create these action scenes?

We don’t rush it. As I’ve already alluded to, truly dramatic scenes take pages to build-up to. No jumping in there. You have to ramp the tension up and make your reader’s fingertips burn to turn that next page to see what happens. But once you’re there, and you’re ready to deliver the action scene, here’s a list of things to take particular note of.

Remember the five senses. Sight, smell, taste, feel, and speak. Make sure you show and don’t tell.

  • With a fight scene, what’s the space like? Open or closed? Are there weapons close by that can used to battle it out with? A lot of regular items can be used as tools to harm. A broken chair leg, a smashed bottle, curtaining. Anything you can imagine can be pulled into a fight scene.
  • Don’t forget the blows. Watch the reactions for both characters and describe them. Did they fall? Stumble? Grunt? Snarl? Lip bleed?
  • Are there other people there? Are they trying to stop the fight? Or do they join in? Are the other bystanders screaming for them to stop? Or egging them on?
  • Ensure your hero can’t do it all. What I mean is, give him faults and make him sweat.
  • Know how the fight scene ends. Does the villain get away in order to plot his next attack? Or is he captured?

I hope you enjoy this small taste of a fight scene below. I find it’s important to add a showing to my posts, so I’m throwing this together for you. It will give you a taste of the five senses I’ve referred to above. To set the scene, two warriors are battling it out in an arena, one a champion who is seeing if the younger warrior has what it takes to join the ranks of his best. They have been fighting for some time and the younger warrior is tiring.

He pushed back the sweaty strands of his hair plastered to his forehead, blinking to focus. Around him the crowd roared, the two-tiered arena packed to capacity, the people wearing a sea of colors that blurred one into the other. Sword. Shield. Don’t falter. It was the mantra every warrior recited.

A snarl of sound coming close on his right, meant he was too slow. His opponent plowed into him, the metal edge of his shield slamming into his side.

“Ugh.” Planting one foot back, he skidded on the soft grains underfoot. Not enough friction. His knee twisted and he crashed to the ground, landing with a jarring thud on his back that rattled his teeth. The metallic taste of blood exploded in his mouth.

One massive man, his red tunic slick against his skin loomed over him. His opponent lifted his sword-arm and held still, the midday sun glinting off the blade. “Yield. Now.” The demand was a blistering one, issued with all the authority of the champion he fought against.

“Never. Not while there is still breath in my body.” He rolled to his side, the champion’s weapon cutting through the air and slicing into the ground where he’d just laid. Hell, that was too close for any man’s comfort.

I hope you enjoyed this “writing realistic, fight scenes” blog post, and that it aided you in some way.  If you haven’t joined me for your weekly dose of bite-sized writing tidbits and you’d like to, then simply check out the right-hand side panel, and enter your email address to “follow the blog.”  If you want, also click “like” on my FB author page to the right.  I love all the support.

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Show, Don’t Tell.

As writers, we hear this mantra all the time.  But what does “show, don’t tell” really mean?

Let me lay it out straight. It refers to the concept of “watching/showing” something unfold, rather than being told in story format.

Here I’m going to give you an example with a sentence of “telling” you what happens.

  • She crossed the stage shyly, taking in the crowd.

 

Okay, so the adverb shyly, with its -ly ending is a clear indicator you’ve told just your reader what happened. So, what you need to do is spot these telling words and rewrite to “show.”

Yes, nice and simple, and I’ll give you a series of examples, because there will be multiple ways, all of them using the heroine’s body language.

  • She crossed the stage, her breath catching as she took in the crowd.
  • She crossed the stage, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth. What a crowd.
  • She crossed the stage, stumbling as she took in the crowd.
  • She crossed the stage, her gaze darting about the packed room. What a crowd.

And I could go on, but I think you get my drift. What you do is take out the “telling” word and replace it with what you would expect to see your character doing. Now you’re effectively “showing” the reader what’s happening.

Oh, but now you don’t want to miss this, because we’re going to take our “showing” one step further and expand, because as writers, it’s our job to perfect every sentence we write.

Here’s an in-depth showing example of the same scene.

  • She curled her hand around the theater’s side curtain, the red velvet raspy under her clammy fingers. Beyond the bright stage lights, the audience was deathly quiet, and her heart pounded. When she stepped out onto that platform, hundreds of people would watch her. She wanted to run.

Did you find that last “show” more interesting? All you have to do is remember the five senses of sight, smell, taste, feel, and speak. Always consider what you will use to show a scene and build from there, imagining yourself right where your character is. This type of writing will paint a vivid picture for your reader, enhancing the story and making your characters come to life.

I hope you enjoyed this “show, don’t tell” blog post, and that it aided you in some way.  If you haven’t joined me for your weekly dose of bite-sized writing tidbits and you’d like to, then simply check out the right-hand side panel, and enter your email address to “follow the blog.”  If you want, also click “like” on my FB author page to the right.  I love all the support.

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Character Building.

Hands up if you know your characters and your plot and even have a synopsis all written before you begin your novel?  Oh boy, I am nowhere near that prepared, but I hear some writers are. That’s got to take some skill, although my problem is I’m quite the creative sort, and I allow each chapter to guide me in the next direction I should go. This of course makes for interesting and time-consuming rewriting as I’m usually halfway through my first draft before I truly know my characters.

So, in order to get on board with solidifying my characters at least, I came up with an interview questionnaire (which I now have in place.) Yes, you heard that right–a questionnaire. My fictional people must answer a range of questions, before they even begin to exist. <Chuckling>  Yeah, if that didn’t sound crazy, then you too must be a writer, for only we truly would get this.

Now, those interview questions are for my heroine, my hero, the antagonist, and any secondary character to the heroine and hero who has a large speaking role. So far, they are–

  • Where were you born, and do you have both parents, or just one, or neither?
  • What’s your age?
  • What kind of relationship do your parents have?
  • Do you have any siblings? (Give me their names and ages, and even the ones that may be a secret because your parents haven’t told you yet.)
  • What’s your favorite food?
  • Are you an early riser, or do you like your sleep-ins?
  • What’s your most influential memory?
  • Do you have any paranormal skills you need to tell me about?  (I don’t need them popping up unannounced, because that’s just a hassle.)
  • Where would you like to be in ten years? (And be honest with me–don’t go telling me in a sequel or series, because I’m not sure if I can make that happen.)

Okay, by the end of my questionnaire, you can see, me and my characters get quite chummy, although I’d like to point out, some of this information won’t actually go in my book. Nope, it’s more so I can do my job as the author to direct each character’s experiences as is necessary.

And that’s what it’s all about, understanding how our characters will act, as well as interact with each other. Because as most authors know, when we’re writing, our characters have a mind of their own and will play out their scenes and develop the story’s plot for us–and that’s where the magic of writing happens. There is nothing more wonderful or more believable for the reader than when an author lets the novel go in the direction the characters want. Ah, I love that part about writing.

So, if you interview your characters in such a way, let me know.  Do you have any additional questions you ask? Or did you just find this post might have you sitting down and talking to your characters a little more?

Well, that’s all for this week, and I hope my blog post aided you.  If you haven’t joined me for your weekly dose of bite-sized writing tidbits and you’d like to, then simply check out the right-hand side panel, and enter your email address to “follow the blog.”  If you want, also click “like” on my FB author page to the right.  I love all the support.

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Protector — First ever excerpt, just for you.

I’m sooo excited to bring you an excerpt from Protector, my Young Adult, Fantasy-Paranormal Romance releasing 7th January 2013 with Lyrical Press.  It’s now left my hands and is undergoing a final read through by a line editor.  So many editing cycles–but, wow, I’ve loved them all.  I’ll drop in the blurb first, but I hope the excerpt that follows leaves you eager for more.

PROTECTOR

To love and protect…across worlds.

Eighteen-year-old Faith Stryker is prepared to leap out into the unknown world beyond her home shores of New Zealand to experience life. Only she never expected to encounter Magio, a planet with two warring countries, where its people reach adulthood at eighteen by coming into their strength and prophetic abilities. Only after Faith discovers she’s a halfling–thanks to her warrior father she’s never met–does her own skill of forethought develop.

Peacio’s Prince Davio Loveria is sent to the young Faith Stryker by his grandfather, but not all goes as planned. Davio discovers Faith isn’t just a halfling, she’s also his soul-bound mate–an intense relationship he cannot, nor will not, give up.

With two wars now waging…one of land and the other of the heart…can the young lovers find their place in the world?

 

Okay, everyone, here’s the excerpt I’ve been eager to bring you–

Davio leaned over me, all six foot four of him, his warm honey-brown hair falling forward to curl snugly around his neck, and I longed for him, just as I had during my first sighting of him in the classroom.

“What’s happening is the bond, my mate. It will become difficult for me to keep my distance both physically and emotionally unless I leave and end this now.”

My heart hitched. “You want to leave?” I swayed closer on impulse. “Is that how this bond works? We find each other and then you leave?” God preserve his people if it did.

“No, it is not. Those mated are bonded for life if we allow the link to grow. Except that would be the most unwise choice for us to take. You are, quite clearly, neither from my country nor from my world, and as such will have no allegiance to me or my people. I have no wish to join with one who does not wish to join with me in all ways. With that being the case, I will find another when the time is right. As should you,” he added solemnly.

I frowned. Hold on–did he just say he would be joining with another woman?

I bit my tongue. That was good? I should leave it at that, right?

Jeez, what was wrong with me for questioning that choice?

“I’m sorry. We just met, and you’re right. Go find your, your–” Strangely, I struggled to get the words out and finally gave up. “Well, have yourself a nice long life, and all that.” I patted his chest roughly.

That was more like me.

The clock ticked and time slowed.

He didn’t move.

“Look at me.” He tipped up my chin, directly staring at me. “This would never work.”

“I understand. It’s been pretty awful meeting you too.” I leaned back, only to feel the pressure of his hand move around my waist to the small of my back, preventing me.

I moved to grip his arm. “Okay, you were going.”

 

*Nibbling my nails*. Oh boy, I hope you enjoyed that.  If you did, Protector is now available to add to your read list on Goodreads, and I’ll drop the link in here for you–

www.goodreads.com/book/show/15827947-protector

Don’t forget if you’d like to join me each week for your writing tidbits, then simply check out the right-hand side panel, and enter your email address to “follow the blog.”  If you want, also click “like” on my FB author page to the right.  I love all the support.

3 Editing Tips — Let’s Improve Our Writing

Today, more than ever, many people believe that good writing flows easily from pen to paper. Yet that’s not the case, and writers out there know it. We understand it takes weeks or months to perfect every line we write within a book, that a writer’s work is in the rewriting, not the writing.

Oh, how I wish at least one of my English teachers during my schooling taught me this. Instead they teach how to write–but not how to edit. Why is that? Editing is where the real work of writing begins. So, let me share some more editing tips this week, shining a light on this subject which is so very close to my heart.

When editing, delete, and rarely add

Yes, you read this right. Writers are usually too wordy and after finishing your first draft of your book, each subsequent draft will reduce in word count. Concise writing is more powerful and will pick up the pace of your book. Which means it’s not unusual for most writers to finish their rewriting with ten to twenty percent less than they originally began with. So many words that we didn’t even need.

Sleep on it

When you’re editing, ideally you want to forget what you wrote so that you’re not expecting to see what you do. *Chuckle* Seriously, when you’re editing, keep moving through the pages, then sleep on what you’ve done. If there’s a particularly difficult piece bugging you, highlight it and leave it, then come back to it after you’ve slept. When we approach our writing, it must be done with a clear mind. This is why there are several drafts in a book. Each time we return to the beginning, it’s with fresh eyes.

Avoid passive sentences

Within our writing, this is the use of (to be, is, were, was, am, are, had.)  Although not always, but in many cases.

As writers we need to avoid the use of passive sentences wherever possible, and this is what publishers and editors ask we do. Passive writing is unconvincing, ultimately weakening the structure of what we write. So, below, I’m going to give you varying examples of moving passive sentences into “active,” by removing the listed words above. Just remember, I’m not talking in all cases, but many.

  • It’s important to state actively what our characters are thinking and doing.
  • It’s important to state actively what our characters think and do.
  • Jack was clapping his hands along with the audience as Jane finished her song on stage.
  • Jack clapped his hands along with the audience as Jane finished her song on stage.
  • Max was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt.
  • Max wore jeans and a white t-shirt.
  • Mary is upset to have missed the show.
  • Missing the show upset Mary.
  • “Errors were made,” Henry said.
  • “I made an error,” Henry said.

 

Sound editing is so important.  Just remember it takes time and practice to perfect, but keep working on it because in the end, the results in your work will show.  Well, that’s all for this week, and I hope my blog post aided you.  If you haven’t joined me for your weekly dose of bite-sized writing tidbits and you’d like to, then simply check out the right-hand side panel, and enter your email address to “follow the blog.”  If you want, also click “like” on my FB author page to the right.  I love all the support.

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